Well today has been long. i re-connected with some old friends today. one friend from when i was a young child. younger than 5. i havent spoken to this person for such a long time. it was only on a txt based system. (FB) But i can imagine what he might sound like. its funny because we are like the same guy. goofy wierd both want to have some life in law enforcement. it was nice another was an ex girlfriend of mine from.... maybe 7th grade lol kids these days huh? but the third was an old best friend of mine. He was always there for me and i was there for him. high school kinda ruined us hahaha but oh well. i do miss him he is a good guy.
BUT the real reason i come to write today is to just get something off of my chest. i feel that i meet a girl, and i like her so much that i go into a spiral for her. thinking about her at all times of the day even when i am alrady talking to her. or not txting her. something just kills me when i get like this. i pour my heart into every relationship i can take. i dont know if this is an instinctual factor of finding a mate. (that seems retarded) im 18 i mean come on. how stupid is it that all i want in my life is a woman? i dont care about money or anything that has such "value"or meaning. it just is so crazy. i feel like a wierdy or something. but there is a girl that i like. and i know ill see her in months to come. which excites me! i am genuinely excited to see her again. becaus eshe is sweet caring and BEAUTIFUL. i mean hey it may be a fling im gonna get over. but i hope it isnt. I feel stupid for saying these things cuz she may read this and think what a fucking crazy loser. i mean im not obsessing. i just am over thinking. just as i usualy do. but i guess i will have to see. idk i just hope im not sonding like some stalker freak. hahaha it just has been bothering me today that i feel this way so soon? im not sure.
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