From within

So today i realized i am just so tired of everything... this house, this desert. i want to leave and just be a memory in people's minds. not a living entity they ee every day. im not saying i want to die. thats not it AT ALL. i just want to go away. for a long time. and forget what haunts me here. i need to bucle down, focus and get shit done here. so i can leave. i just want help. i dont know wherei can get it. but i guess its within myself.